


and that, my dear boy, is called a desert slug

by Acexual_Attorney



Series: the dream team [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Crack, Implied Sexual Content, i almost cried writing this bc i make myself laugh, its just them talking about jerking off dont worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-20 00:34:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10651338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acexual_Attorney/pseuds/Acexual_Attorney
Summary: Masturbating was natural, but with five hormonal teens in one dorm with practically no privacy, it could only be expected that something like this would happen, and honestly, Renjun wasn’t sure why SM thought it was a good idea to have them all share a shower.





	and that, my dear boy, is called a desert slug

**Author's Note:**

> Because i do this instead of writing prompts

“We need to have a talk.”

Jisung peaked up at Renjun for a brief second before going back to watching Chenle play Sonic X on his DS. Jaemin pretended to ignore him, continuing to watch _Goblin_ on the TV. Jeno was the only one to give him the time of day, setting aside his Chemistry book to look up at Renjun, but Renjun suspected he only did it as an excuse to put off learning about moles for as long as possible.

“Listen to your hyung, you brats!” Renjun snapped. The sharp tune to his voice caused the younger kids to finally turn to him.

“Do Mark and Donghyuck hyung need to be here for this?” Chenle asked.

“No, this only applies to you kids,” Renjun said.

“I’m not a kid,” Jisung mumbled at the same time that Renjun continued with, “It’s a dorm-specific problem.”

“What’s wrong?” Jaemin asked, sitting up slightly to give Renjun his attention.

Renjun sighed and perched on the edge of the couch. He folded and unfolded his hands, trying to figure out the best way to say his next words.

“I just got out of the shower and-” Renjun took a deep breath and gulped “-there was _something_ that came up out of the drain.”

Jeno gasped. “Was it a snake?” He asked.

Renjun shook his head.

“A cockroach?” Chenle asked, making Jisung shiver at just the thought.

Renjun shook his head again.

“What was it?” Jaemin asked, urging Renjun to continue.

Renjun visibly blushed and coughed, trying to remove the lump from his throat. Everyone leaned forward, effectively invested in what could possibly be in their shower.

“Spit it out, hyung!” Jisung urged.

“It was cum! Semen! Jizz!,” Renjun cried, face and ears a bright red. “Whatever you want to call it!”

Jisung and Chenle blinked dumbly at Renjun and Jaemin immediately started to laugh despite the light pink tint to his cheeks. Jeno looked just as bashful, ears turning red as he tried to hide his smile.

“I’m serious,” Renjun insisted, “I almost stepped on it, it was gross! I hate to talk so bluntly but we all need to stop jerking off in the shower!”

“Where else do you expect us to masturbate?!” Jeno cried back, “We all share rooms and have no privacy here!”

Chenle looked at his hyung, confused to their embarrassment. “What does masturbate mean?” He asked.

Jaemin made a jerking off motion with his hand and realization dawned on him. He immediately tried hiding his blushing face behind his hands.

Jisung stood up, clearing his throat and trying to keep his burning ears hidden behind his hair. “Since this doesn’t apply to me, can I leave?”

“Sit down you pubescent piece of shit, we all know you’re going through puberty and this goes double for you,” Jeno knocked the back of Jisung’s knees, making him fall back into his seat and almost squishing Chenle in the process.

“I was talking to Mark hyung and he said the 127 dorm already had this conversation because apparently it’s ten times worse in their shower,” Renjun explained. He recalled Mark telling him the story, blushing and stuttering the entire time as Donghyuck cackled in the background.

“Is it really that bad?” Jaemin asked, laughter quieting down enough for him to talk.

“Go look for yourself, it’s still in the drain,” Renjun winced at the thought. It was gross and even thinking about it made him want to throw up. “If it happens again we might have to tell the manager that we need a new drain and _I_ don’t want to be the one to explain why.”

Renjun was just about to let it be at that, the youngers had suffered from enough embarrassment, before he remembered.

“Oh yeah, um, while I’m on the topic, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost cut my fingers doing your guys’ laundry. If you’re going to jerk off into a sock at least do your own laundry so I don’t have to suffer.”

The only protest was brought up from Jisung, who let out a faint and confused, “ _I don’t know how to do the laundry_.”

Everyone started doing their own laundry and taking quicker showers after that day.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways ive been obsessing w/ nct dream lately and i want ppl to yell abt chensung w/ me on my [blog](http://polybooseoksoon.tumblr.com)


End file.
